October 14, 2016

Growing Old Truths

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

  1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
  3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.

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