April 16, 2016

15 Smatterings of Zen Sarcasm

1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.

2.   Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

3.   Duct tape is like “The Force”. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

4.   Generally speaking, you can’t learn much when your lips are moving.

5.   A closed mouth gathers no foot.

6.   There are two theories to arguing with women. In my experience, neither one works.

7.   Sometimes you're the bug and other times you're the windshield.

8.   Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

9. It is not what they call you, but rather what you answer to.

10. The seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.

11. Coffee has a language of its own.

12. If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, chances are he did not get there alone.

13. In all things, deliver a combination of skill, diplomacy and bold caution.

14. Maybe it's not about the future, but what about Monday?

15. We are… because He was...

No comments: