Why do we, who start out so passionate, courageous, worthy and
believing, become utterly bankrupt by the youthful age of 30, 40 or even 60?
Why is it that one of us drowns in material consumption and debt,
another puts a bullet in his head, a third seeks oblivion in hard liquor and
gambling, a fourth, in order to stifle fear and judgment, cynically tramples
and berates her own individuality, intelligence, and pure, beautiful youth?
Why is it that, once fallen, we don’t attempt to rise back up, and,
having lost one thing, we don’t attempt to seek another?
We let that monster named negativity chew us up and spit
us out into a deep gutter of self-doubt.
If you can relate in any way at all, here are some
important reminders to keep in mind…
1.When your marriage, parenting, faith, etc. gets tough, it’s not a
sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intimate, intricate aspects of
life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time,
having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.
2.On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure,
remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so
far.
3.Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s
all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually
learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong
decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different
paths. Sometimes you must get
hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to
gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a
little pain.
4.Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
5.Life is not about maintaining the status quo. Life is not
about playing it safe every second. Life is not about standing still and
wallowing in self-doubt. It’s about connecting with your soul, respecting
your integrity, and telling yourself that you are able. It’s about taking
a few steps, regardless of how hard and small they may be, so you can move
forward and evolve.
6.You must make a firm decision that you’re going to move forward.
It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will
have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how
disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me.
I’m moving on with my life.”
7.No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the
battles of today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two
relentless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly
complicated. Realize that it’s not the experience of today by itself that
devastates you, but the regret and resentment about something that happened
yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring. It’s
necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today
– just right here, right now.
8.When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can
control and
that changes everything.
9.Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re
giving up when you don’t even try.
10.Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the
real world and learning from it. Listening or reading is often just
listening or reading. It’s not real learning. Real learning comes
from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.
11.If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If
you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step
forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.
12.In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a
lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you
leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have
become; its the legroom for the fairy tales you’ll tell yourself in the future
about what could have been.
13.Everyone has a little talent. What’s rare is the courage
to follow it to the dark places where it leads, and beyond.
14.Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s simply a whisper at
the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
15.If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be
different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know
it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now.
Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will
reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
All details
aside, if you’re reading this… Congratulations, you’re alive and in a good position to give yourself another
chance. If that’s not something to
smile about, then I don’t know what is.
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