#7 We tie our happiness to the
futile idea of perfection.
Oftentimes, when we strive for happiness, what we are
really aiming for is to feel perfect.
But perfection is an illusion.
But perfection is an illusion.
We are beautifully imperfect beings, operating in a very
imperfect world, and that is just the way it’s meant to be. Striving for
perfection is a hollow goal, one that can never be achieved.
Society constantly bombards us with doctored images of
perfection in marketing and popular media. Do not buy into this illusion;
it will only lead you into darkness. Embrace your quirks, your flaws and
the fact that life is a roller coaster at times. Strive for excellence,
have high standards… but never confuse that with the crippling behavior of
perfectionism.
Rather than striving to be perfect, embrace and
appreciate all the beautiful, natural imperfections of life, and use these
things to grow stronger, wiser, and more whole as an individual.
The secret to a fulfilling life is
wholeness, not happiness
Pursuing wholeness comes down to accepting and embracing
all aspects of life – sadness, frustration, pain, failure and happiness, as
well as realizing that all these things are equally as important for a
balanced, fulfilling and truly happy experience.
It’s about understanding that life is not just a bowl of
cherries, and that in order to grow and learn, we rely on the harsh realities
of life. The cherry pits.
In fact, even though it’s hard, we need to be grateful
for these things.
Rather than trying to hide from adversities, we need to
embrace them… because we know that they will make us stronger, more
passionate, motivated, versatile, confident, resilient, capable and ultimately
more whole as individuals – as well as adding more meaning and deeper fulfillment to our
lives.
“Everyone says we grow through pain and as soon as they
experience it they say, ‘Quick! Move on! Cheer up!’ Wholeness
is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness,
disappointment, frustration, failure; all those things which make us who we
are.”
― Hugh Mackay
How to strive for wholeness
In order to get the most out of your pursuit for
wholeness, the following are some key things to do in your daily life:
▪
Embrace rather than avoid life’s adversities. Laugh at your
mistakes and learn from them. Joke about your troubles and gather
strength from them. Have fun with the challenges you face and then
conquer them.
▪
Rather than shutting out or suppressing negative emotions, allow
yourself to really feel them, so you can deal with them. Take full,
unhindered control of your emotions, so your emotions do not control you behind
your back.
▪
Find peace with yourself and your past. Rather than remaining
angry or hurt throughout your life, choose to forgive yourself and others, and
try to actually appreciate the experiences for what they have taught you.
▪
Proactively identify knowledge gaps in your life experience and take
steps to fill them, even if it requires you to stretch your comfort zone.
▪
Shift some of your attention away from what you want, and refocus it
on what others need.
Will you choose wholeness over happiness?
Will you choose wholeness over happiness?
When you choose to actively seek wholeness, your life
will feel much more fulfilling.You will feel more satisfied and happy with your life,
because rather than feeling burdened by life’s challenges, you will be on a
constant journey of growth and discovery. Everything, good or bad, will
move you forward.
Instead of feeling like a victim in life, you will be
able to appreciate and value everything that comes your way. After all,
you’re not a victim. You’re a strong human being. You have an
interesting life, and it is magnificent. Keep this in mind, and live it
accordingly.
And while you’re out there doing your thing, you will
also learn to love, accept and understand yourself better as you learn to
overcome the brokenness inside you.
I challenge you to choose wholeness from today onward.
I challenge you to choose wholeness from today onward.
The next time you feel sad or disappointed, don’t try to shut it
out or distract yourself from it. Instead, accept it as who you are, be
okay with it and allow it to add new layers of understanding and awareness to
your life.
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