March 19, 2014

The 14 Stages Of Book Addiction

I’m not addicted…I can stop reading anytime I want!

1. You buy a book you’ve heard a lot of buzz about and figure you’ll just try it out.

2. You’re a few pages in thinking “I mean, I don’t really see what all the fuss is about.”

3. Fifty pages in and now you need to know what happens. You NEED to know.

4. You look forward to even a few minutes of downtime because that is precious reading time.

5. Sleep is no longer important since these late hours in the night are when no one disturbs you and asks “What are you reading??” as if holding a book in front of your face is not enough of a ‘Please do not disturb’ sign.

6. An internal conflict starts to develop as part of you wants to know how the story ends and the other part of you can’t bare the thought of life without this book.

7. You become unhealthily attached to the main characters, especially if the narrator is in love with the novel equivalent to your girlfriend.

8. You think you might love a character more than you love your actual girlfriend.

9. You start to become the book’s biggest marketing tool as you preach about the literary masterpiece to your friends. As in, “Oh My God! You have to read this book! NO, LIKE YOU HAVE TO!”

10. Reality is no longer of importance. Your work can wait, so can the taxes, the main characters are in danger!!

11. If something tragic happens to the main character or your book , you cry for your loss, because literally no one around you cares about your mental anguish.

12. You finish the book and your heart aches as you say goodbye to those characters forever.

13. Walking into a bookstore afterwards is like being thrown back into the dating world after getting dumped.

14. You find a flaw in every book you pick up and realize you’re just not ready to get back out there.



*repeat stages 1 through 14*

(Thank you KaliAlicia)

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