I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the
world. I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ass. It's the
tortoise life for me! LOL
1.. If walking is good for your health, the Postman
would be immortal.
2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks
water, and is FAT.
3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it
lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise more?? I don't think
so.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered
1. I
started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild
oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I
finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I
don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I
don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all
is not lost, where is it?
7. It is
easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some
days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish
the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in
the back seat cause accidents.
11.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's
hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The
only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God
wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When
I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not
hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
17. The
only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These
days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter, I go somewhere, to
get something, and then wonder what I'm here after.
19. Funny,
I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. DID I
SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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