Here
are my seven important reminders to jog your memory…
1. Attitude makes all the difference.
Two people can be affected by the same circumstance and respond in completely different ways; it just depends on their perspective. One might see themselves as a victim, while the other discovers and makes the most of an opportunity the circumstance provides.
When
you expect life to be unkind, it will always live up to your expectations. On
the other hand, when you consider yourself to be in a fortunate situation, you
will find yourself in many more.
It’s
important to remember that there is value in every situation and
circumstance. Positive possibilities are generated by every possible turn of
fate. No matter what happens or doesn’t happen, life is what you choose to make
it. If you are sitting in a plane seat expecting the ground crew to push the
plane into the sky, forget it. It just doesn’t happen.
2. Some sadness is necessary.
You
cannot completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself
from happiness. Sadness is part of the journey. Life is a series of highs and
lows – an adventure that requires you to take chances and actions that have the
possibility of both success (happiness) and failure (sadness).
When
you find your path, you must not be afraid to step forward. You need to have
sufficient courage to take chances and fail sometimes. Disappointment and
sadness are the tools life uses to show us the way.
In
the end, we learn even more from our failures than we do from our successes.
Every step is a step in the right direction.
3. You can’t fight fire with fire
Don’t
spew hostile words at those who spew them at you. Tone it down and replace the
stink of confrontation with the fragrance of resolution. The louder the
opposition wants to yell, the calmer and more confidently you need to speak.
Keep your composure; don’t let them get to you.
Be
an example of a pure existence having a pure understanding of reality.
Communicate and express yourself from a place of peace, with the best
intentions. Practice good judgment in what you say and how you say it, in the
thoughts you carry, and in the emotions you reveal. And most of all, use your
voice for good – to inspire, to encourage, to educate, to spread the notions of
love and understanding.
4. Everyone struggles in some way.
As
a leader, I learned that when you deal with your own issues, use your head;
when you help others deal with their issues, use your heart (with a smaller
dose of head).
The
questions you should be asking yourself are: How much could I possibly know
about the troubles in another’s heart? How much can I hope to understand this
person who has suffered from a specific circumstance of pain or disappointment
than I have known?
And
even greater than your ability to inspire them with hope for a brighter future
is your capacity to motivate them to directly confront the worst in themselves
and deal with it upfront, so they can rediscover and reclaim the best in
themselves over time.
5. Fear always exists.
Every
new experience triggers at least some fear; and that’s okay. Fear can help you
to assess risk and prepare for all kinds of important, challenging situations.
But first you have to understand that the purpose of fear is not to stop you.
Fear
helps you evaluate the path forward. Certainly it is important to pause, look
carefully and drink a cup of coffee before you move into unknown territory.
However, it is just as important that, after sufficient due diligence and
preparation, you do indeed move forward.
Let
the fear sharpen your awareness, and then let it inspire you to act. Your
success cannot be built by seeking refuge in what is already familiar and
comfortable. You must journey out into the unknown, prepared for the challenges
and determined to do whatever is necessary. The way to get beyond your fear is
to go through it. Do the thing you fear and the fear loses its control over
you.
6. Small steps get you to big places.
The
greatest of all mistakes is to do nothing simply because you can only do a
little. In fact, it is far more productive to take many small steps in the right
direction than to make a giant leap only to stumble and fall and never get up
again.
Bottom
line: The path to every goal requires a hundred small steps – one after the
other. Figure out where you want to go, take a step, and keep on stepping. George
Lucas said, “Focus always determines your reality.” Diligence and persistence
gets us there.
7. You can only change yourself.
Don’t
wait for someone who hurt you to make it up to you. This kind of thinking only
keeps your old wounds from healing. Waiting for them to change is not the
answer. You have no control over them, and they may never change.
Inner
peace is found by changing your thinking, not the people who hurt you. And you
change your thinking for yourself, for your joy, your peace of mind, your own
understanding, and your bright future that has nothing to do with this person
or what they did to you.
So
forgive those who have hurt you in the past, and even more importantly, forgive
yourself for allowing them to hurt you. Then smile like you’ve never cried,
re-open your heart and mind like you’ve never been hurt, and live the rest of
your life like you’re running out of time.
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